Jeff - Loyalty and Devotion
Jeff
Week 1
My friend Brian once told me, “You’ll be married before you’re engaged”. I think his comment was based on his experience with me because very quickly after we met, I started talking to him about this “powerful” connection that I felt between us and that I was drawn to him. Once I feel a connection like that, I also become devoted and loyal…to a fault. Our dialogue wasn’t completely one sided, he said he felt something too. But I think I came on really strong because I remember him telling me that he had “no plans to leave his husband” and that he “hoped that our situation/relationship wasn’t preventing me from getting involved with someone else”. Honestly, since Brian lives in out of town, our situation/relationship wasn’t stopping me from looking, which is what I told him…but in reality, I wasn’t looking, Brian was my focus. In my head, Brian and I had a relationship and I thought that one day we would be together. I think Brian truly liked me but what I perceived as a connection was just a physical attraction…cruising. And probably the only connection the Brian wanted with me was my big cock down his throat. I gave him what he wanted several times.
My loyalty and devotion “messes” up my head and I misdirect it frequently and quickly. One evening in a bathhouse, I met a sort of nondescript, average kind of guy in the steam room who sucked my cock for a while. It was going well so I invited him to my room. At some point during the two hours or so that we were having sex, I felt a connection…it was probably while he was fucking me. Anyway, we had made a real mess in the room, so I suggested that we shower, get new linens and come back for more. He was agreeable. While we were in the shower, which is a big open space with naked men all around, a really, really hot guy walked in. Everyone noticed him. My cock was still heavy from all of the sex with Average Dick. The hot guy came up to me and grabbed my cock…he wanted some. For a few seconds I thought about it…but I thanked Hot Dick and told him that “we were on our way back to my room to rest”. I rejected him because I had a focus…my loyalty and devotion had already kicked in…even though I was in a fucking bathhouse.
Jeff
Week 2
Why am I in such a hurry? Am I afraid that he’ll get away? Do I have to latch on to every possibility?
I think I only latch on to the guys I really want to be with…not every guy I meet. And I am in a hurry because I fear he’ll escape my grasp. Why? Because I don’t see myself as worthy.
After we danced around for a couple of days, I finally showed Brian my cock. I resisted because I wanted to know that he was interested in me, just me. But, I had to make sure…and that’s all it took. Now I was humiliated but confident he would call. What would have happened if I hadn’t done that? Would he have ever called? Who knows, who cares.
I really go after guys I like. Stalker. I can find anyone…it’s easy.
Desperation is an ugly thing.
Week 1
My friend Brian once told me, “You’ll be married before you’re engaged”. I think his comment was based on his experience with me because very quickly after we met, I started talking to him about this “powerful” connection that I felt between us and that I was drawn to him. Once I feel a connection like that, I also become devoted and loyal…to a fault. Our dialogue wasn’t completely one sided, he said he felt something too. But I think I came on really strong because I remember him telling me that he had “no plans to leave his husband” and that he “hoped that our situation/relationship wasn’t preventing me from getting involved with someone else”. Honestly, since Brian lives in out of town, our situation/relationship wasn’t stopping me from looking, which is what I told him…but in reality, I wasn’t looking, Brian was my focus. In my head, Brian and I had a relationship and I thought that one day we would be together. I think Brian truly liked me but what I perceived as a connection was just a physical attraction…cruising. And probably the only connection the Brian wanted with me was my big cock down his throat. I gave him what he wanted several times.
My loyalty and devotion “messes” up my head and I misdirect it frequently and quickly. One evening in a bathhouse, I met a sort of nondescript, average kind of guy in the steam room who sucked my cock for a while. It was going well so I invited him to my room. At some point during the two hours or so that we were having sex, I felt a connection…it was probably while he was fucking me. Anyway, we had made a real mess in the room, so I suggested that we shower, get new linens and come back for more. He was agreeable. While we were in the shower, which is a big open space with naked men all around, a really, really hot guy walked in. Everyone noticed him. My cock was still heavy from all of the sex with Average Dick. The hot guy came up to me and grabbed my cock…he wanted some. For a few seconds I thought about it…but I thanked Hot Dick and told him that “we were on our way back to my room to rest”. I rejected him because I had a focus…my loyalty and devotion had already kicked in…even though I was in a fucking bathhouse.
Jeff
Week 2
Why am I in such a hurry? Am I afraid that he’ll get away? Do I have to latch on to every possibility?
I think I only latch on to the guys I really want to be with…not every guy I meet. And I am in a hurry because I fear he’ll escape my grasp. Why? Because I don’t see myself as worthy.
After we danced around for a couple of days, I finally showed Brian my cock. I resisted because I wanted to know that he was interested in me, just me. But, I had to make sure…and that’s all it took. Now I was humiliated but confident he would call. What would have happened if I hadn’t done that? Would he have ever called? Who knows, who cares.
I really go after guys I like. Stalker. I can find anyone…it’s easy.
Desperation is an ugly thing.
posted by LifeWriter at 11:07 PM
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