Notes from Assignment 3 - Todd

I am examining the time I moved from San Diego to Atlanta. It was April of 1993. I was a student at San Diego State University, studying geophysics. My parents had cut me off, both financially and emotionally about 6 months before that, and I was out of money. I was in a relationship at the time with Tony Wells, a beautiful, hustler-type boy who had totally captured my heart, but couldn’t pull off any kind of normal relationship with. It was one of the lowest, highest, confusing, and exhilarating times in my life. I have described it many times as a “reboot.”

I quit my job, dropped out of school, shoved everything that would fit into my Honda Civic, and with my last 178 dollars and an American Express card, I drove to Atlanta, having never even visited there, knew no one there, and would be totally on-my-own.

1. Persons. During this period were there significant relationships in my life? Don't limit yourself to the dramatic ones.
Tony Wells, Mom, G.B., Mark, Jeffrey, Kevin, bradx

2. Works. Were there outer activities that became a focus for your energy in significant ways? These can be completed works or works that were left incomplete.
Being gay, clubbing, computer

3. Body. Were there occurrences or situations that had special relevance to the body? Illness, health programs, sensory pleasures, drugs, alcohol, sex, athletics?
Drinking, pot, poppers, fucking, fucking, fucking

4. Society. Was this a period of your life when your relationship to groups or institutions was changing in any way? Were you questioning your politics, considering your relationship to race or family? Maybe some historic events occurred that involved you in questions of personal commitment. Were you engaged in any artistic pursuits that brought you into contact with these questions?
My family relationship was O V E R. I was told that.
I was coming out – so a new relationship was forming with my gay brothers and sisters. I had never knowingly met a “dyke” before this. I was clueless.

5. Events. Did unexpected or unexplained events occur? Did you feel tested by life? Were there outer or inner events that compelled you to look at mysteries and riddles of existence?

Let me count thy ways:
Parents cut me off
Debt overwhelming
Forced out of school
Did I want to be a scientist?
What was my purpose? Where am I going? What am I doing here? Who’s life is this?
Speeding tickets – 6 of them – unpaid – forced me to “flee”
“Atlanta” kept coming up

6. Dreams. Do you remember any special dreams from this period? What significance did they have?
“Atlanta” kept coming up

7. Images. Do you recall any deep images arising? Visions? Infatuation with particular symbols? How do they amplify the character of this period? Do they have any prophetic qualities?
Again – Atlanta was a common theme. I would see it everywhere – on billboards, in magazines, Seattle too but more Atlanta.

8. Roads Taken/ Roads Not Taken. Did you come to a crossroads and a decision that afffected your future? Maybe a decision was forced upon you. How do you feel about paths not taken, paths you did take?
Not leaving San Diego
Going to Atlanta
Going to Seattle




West Coast Production Caompany
Kevin – Jeeps make guys look hot
5th Ave deli
Marcy/Erc – wanted to fuck BAD
5th ST apartment – rough carpeting
Asian boy – Neiman Marcus – Shoes – Infinity
Tony’s coffee shop in Mission Hills
Mark cruising Balboa Park – getting chased by SDPD on ATV with infared cameras
British haircut shop
Doc Martins
Gloria and her sister – cool castle apartment building