Dreams
Dreams (Jim) 11/02/2005
Sunday, October 30th, 2005 - (Testosterone)
“What A Butt”
I don’t remember much except that I had sex of some sort with Alex (a very young pharmaceutical student in CODA, way out of my league). I remember I enjoyed whatever we did very much and man did he have a beautiful butt.
Friday, October 28th, 2005 - (?)
“Bahhhh”
Drempt I was house sitting a goat with Rob (a younger ex) in Carrollton (where I got my Masters). I was a little scared of the old billy goat.
Thursday, October 27th, 2005 - (Testosterone)
“Tough Guy”
I was an employee at an out-of-control Home Depot, but I wasn’t concerning myself with any of the work, so desperately needing done (usually my whole focus would be on the work). There were piles of ice and concrete blocking the aisles. Instead of helping I was outside bluffing a tough guy act with some guy trying to steal merchandize.
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 - (Testosterone)
“Dad, You’re A Stud”
I’m back on Elmhurst Street in St.Louis, MO, where I lived from 4th grade through 11th grade.
(I think of it as the time frame in which I lost my leadership role as oldest sibling to Tom, the second oldest child. Tom, a hyper-competitive, super athlete was what my Dad had always wanted to be, I thought.)
As my Dad and I approach the street, we’re in a fervent discussion about the White Sox and The World Series (something I’d never be caught dead discussing usually). The next block over from our street was the driving range for a golf course. As we reach it, a large pond (which in real life we ice-skated on) had huge waves crashing on the shore at our feet. We enter the club house, which is very muddy. My Dad slips and falls in the mud and as I try to help him up, I fall on top of him several times. While we are rolling around in the mud, my Dad goes back to his physical peak (probably when he first married). As I help him up, my hand slides up his rib cage and abdomen, and I admire his taut athleticism greatly. The sense was not sexual in any way but an extremely masculine connection.
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 - (Testosterone)
“In The Jocks Inner Circle”
I’m with Tom (my brother) and Terry (the jock of jocks cousin) discussing riding the train maintenance trains in the mountains (which I did a week before). Terry is being a wimp saying he’d never do anything so dangerous but Tom is intrigued. We all board a passenger train and enjoy the ride together and each others company, through the mountains.
Monday, October 24th, 2005 - (Testosterone and Powerless)
“My How I Love Those Soccer Legs”
I am a fullback on a soccer team (the last line of defense before the goalie). No matter what I do, I can’t get the ball from my opponent. I’m like a persistent, annoying gnat, not warranting his attention. He’s huge, towering over me, a mountain of muscles of steel. He never touches me or the ball with his hands for that would be an overt foul, yet he manipulates me like a puppet. At one point he scoops me up, by his massive shoulders alone, and carries me helpless down the field. Later we are fighting over control of a string (instead of a ball) that again we can’t touch. I think it’s cheating but technically it’s legal, that he has hold of the reel. I’m powerless against him.
Monday, October 17th, 2005 - (Job and Powerless)
“Idiot”
The boss calls on the intercom for me to get my friend, for his promotion. My friend is in the room and hears the request. Not believing it, we joke about it over the intercom with the boss. The boss thinks it’s funny too and joins in the joking about it with us, but eventually he realizes that we never catch on that he is serious about promoting my friend. When he realizes this, he thinks we’re both idiots and changing his mind, he demotes us both.
Monday, October 17th, 2005 - (Job and Powerless)
“Jelly Fish”
I’m over at Ty’s new place (in reality I’ve just learned he moved), and I’m already late for work. I followed him there but don’t know how to leave for work from there. He sets up an interview for me on Saturday for a auditor position, I don’t want. Besides I may already be scheduled to work on Saturday. He then says he may not have a place to stay tonight - can he stay with me? I panic but say no, with no resolve.
Sunday, October 16th, 2005 - (Job)
“Not What I Want To Do”
I was going to catch the evening school bus with the middle school kids and monitor them taking their psych medications. I would monitor as many busses as I could, switching between them, while someone else did the rest. As I did this day after day, I expanded into morning and lunch routes as well. One day I got tired of it all and didn’t show up. I felt guilty though and decided it was important to do, so dedicated myself to it anew.
Sunday, October 9th, 2005 - (Miraculous)
“Talking Eagles”
I’m in a remote valley in Tennessee where they grow Ridgeview (mental institute in Atlanta) wines. Sitting on a craggy cliff, with my back to a huge pine tree, I watch my friend climb into the uppermost branches of it. Suddenly from far below a magnificent bird soars upward and past me. It’s a bald eagle. It lands part way up the tree, and I yell excitedly to my friend to see if he sees it. Now I’m even more amazed as it lands 5 feet from me. Soon it’s partner joins it there. I’m frozen in awe. Now they nestles up alongside me, lying their heads in my lap. I’m dumb-struck when they begin to speak! I protest that they don’t have the voice-boxes for speech but they reply they learned English from the Children at the school house nearby when they were drawn to it for warmth. I protested again that that the dairy cow my sister talked with everyday never spoke. They replied, cows are dumb.
Years later, at my mother’s house, with family, I’m watching a 60 Minutes special on the talking eagles. It’s funded by the wineries as a promotion, since they are unpopular in the valley. They don’t use the real eagles but substitute with fill-in actors. I wonder if what I saw earlier and now could possibly be true. I search the internet for verification. It saddens me that we shoot eagles. We could lose the miraculous.
Sunday, October 30th, 2005 - (Testosterone)
“What A Butt”
I don’t remember much except that I had sex of some sort with Alex (a very young pharmaceutical student in CODA, way out of my league). I remember I enjoyed whatever we did very much and man did he have a beautiful butt.
Friday, October 28th, 2005 - (?)
“Bahhhh”
Drempt I was house sitting a goat with Rob (a younger ex) in Carrollton (where I got my Masters). I was a little scared of the old billy goat.
Thursday, October 27th, 2005 - (Testosterone)
“Tough Guy”
I was an employee at an out-of-control Home Depot, but I wasn’t concerning myself with any of the work, so desperately needing done (usually my whole focus would be on the work). There were piles of ice and concrete blocking the aisles. Instead of helping I was outside bluffing a tough guy act with some guy trying to steal merchandize.
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 - (Testosterone)
“Dad, You’re A Stud”
I’m back on Elmhurst Street in St.Louis, MO, where I lived from 4th grade through 11th grade.
(I think of it as the time frame in which I lost my leadership role as oldest sibling to Tom, the second oldest child. Tom, a hyper-competitive, super athlete was what my Dad had always wanted to be, I thought.)
As my Dad and I approach the street, we’re in a fervent discussion about the White Sox and The World Series (something I’d never be caught dead discussing usually). The next block over from our street was the driving range for a golf course. As we reach it, a large pond (which in real life we ice-skated on) had huge waves crashing on the shore at our feet. We enter the club house, which is very muddy. My Dad slips and falls in the mud and as I try to help him up, I fall on top of him several times. While we are rolling around in the mud, my Dad goes back to his physical peak (probably when he first married). As I help him up, my hand slides up his rib cage and abdomen, and I admire his taut athleticism greatly. The sense was not sexual in any way but an extremely masculine connection.
Wednesday, October 26th, 2005 - (Testosterone)
“In The Jocks Inner Circle”
I’m with Tom (my brother) and Terry (the jock of jocks cousin) discussing riding the train maintenance trains in the mountains (which I did a week before). Terry is being a wimp saying he’d never do anything so dangerous but Tom is intrigued. We all board a passenger train and enjoy the ride together and each others company, through the mountains.
Monday, October 24th, 2005 - (Testosterone and Powerless)
“My How I Love Those Soccer Legs”
I am a fullback on a soccer team (the last line of defense before the goalie). No matter what I do, I can’t get the ball from my opponent. I’m like a persistent, annoying gnat, not warranting his attention. He’s huge, towering over me, a mountain of muscles of steel. He never touches me or the ball with his hands for that would be an overt foul, yet he manipulates me like a puppet. At one point he scoops me up, by his massive shoulders alone, and carries me helpless down the field. Later we are fighting over control of a string (instead of a ball) that again we can’t touch. I think it’s cheating but technically it’s legal, that he has hold of the reel. I’m powerless against him.
Monday, October 17th, 2005 - (Job and Powerless)
“Idiot”
The boss calls on the intercom for me to get my friend, for his promotion. My friend is in the room and hears the request. Not believing it, we joke about it over the intercom with the boss. The boss thinks it’s funny too and joins in the joking about it with us, but eventually he realizes that we never catch on that he is serious about promoting my friend. When he realizes this, he thinks we’re both idiots and changing his mind, he demotes us both.
Monday, October 17th, 2005 - (Job and Powerless)
“Jelly Fish”
I’m over at Ty’s new place (in reality I’ve just learned he moved), and I’m already late for work. I followed him there but don’t know how to leave for work from there. He sets up an interview for me on Saturday for a auditor position, I don’t want. Besides I may already be scheduled to work on Saturday. He then says he may not have a place to stay tonight - can he stay with me? I panic but say no, with no resolve.
Sunday, October 16th, 2005 - (Job)
“Not What I Want To Do”
I was going to catch the evening school bus with the middle school kids and monitor them taking their psych medications. I would monitor as many busses as I could, switching between them, while someone else did the rest. As I did this day after day, I expanded into morning and lunch routes as well. One day I got tired of it all and didn’t show up. I felt guilty though and decided it was important to do, so dedicated myself to it anew.
Sunday, October 9th, 2005 - (Miraculous)
“Talking Eagles”
I’m in a remote valley in Tennessee where they grow Ridgeview (mental institute in Atlanta) wines. Sitting on a craggy cliff, with my back to a huge pine tree, I watch my friend climb into the uppermost branches of it. Suddenly from far below a magnificent bird soars upward and past me. It’s a bald eagle. It lands part way up the tree, and I yell excitedly to my friend to see if he sees it. Now I’m even more amazed as it lands 5 feet from me. Soon it’s partner joins it there. I’m frozen in awe. Now they nestles up alongside me, lying their heads in my lap. I’m dumb-struck when they begin to speak! I protest that they don’t have the voice-boxes for speech but they reply they learned English from the Children at the school house nearby when they were drawn to it for warmth. I protested again that that the dairy cow my sister talked with everyday never spoke. They replied, cows are dumb.
Years later, at my mother’s house, with family, I’m watching a 60 Minutes special on the talking eagles. It’s funded by the wineries as a promotion, since they are unpopular in the valley. They don’t use the real eagles but substitute with fill-in actors. I wonder if what I saw earlier and now could possibly be true. I search the internet for verification. It saddens me that we shoot eagles. We could lose the miraculous.
posted by LifeWriter at 6:41 PM
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